Goodbye

      

Gary Harkness

I find myself pondering through the annuls of my life,

Wondering why I chose to walk the prickly path of strife,

Why I chose to seek out chaos, rather than routes more sublime,

Why I never chose to change my path, over this epic length of time,

I felt comfortable in the madness, happy with my lot,

The feelings that were true and real, were the ones that I forgot.

Closed myself off from my ability to see nature’s beauty pure, 

Sought my only solace, through addictions chemical cure,

It robbed me of everything to which I should stand true,

And her sedatory powers, meant, I never had a clue,

My drug became my mistress, encompassing every part of every day,

I sought out my Kryptonite in every possible way.

It brought me to my knees, took everything I ever had,

She took my dignity, my marriage and ability to be a dad,

But still I never saw her wiles, were robbing me of me,

And every second of my day with her I chose to be,

My mistress made sure I was dependant through and through,

Spun her web and convinced me, you need me to be you.

Now no longer do I her have ruling my entire life,

It has been a process similar to the divorce from my wife,

She left me cold and bare, standing all alone,

With every part of me aching, every organ, every bone,

She convinced me that without her I was lost,

Meaning all that joy love could bring was out of reach at any cost.

However I now look with eyes newly born,

I am starting to be able to function, through my mistress’s scorn,

She is clever, she is wily, she is very sly,

Without her grip around me, my heart again can fly,

Life is the choice for which I opt today,

And life is what I choose to live, whatever cost I pay,

No longer am I beholding to her vice like claws,

Free from now from her tight suffocating paws,

These eyes behold the beauty of the breaking dawn,

No longer am I prisoner to her clutches and her scorn.

  

So long, my long lost lover, it is life that I choose,

No longer to your beat I’ll dance, no longer a prisoner to your blues,

You’ve been deceitful and misguiding for a major part of my life,

I never took the same amount of grief from my ex bloody wife,

I’m no longer in your clutches, not your puppet on a string,

I’ve chosen to seek my solace, and love, under nature’s wing.

So long my old mistress, it was you and I for so long,

Now my heart beats freely with a joyous rhythmic hum,

I’m free from you now you nasty piece of work,

No longer in every thought of the day does my reliance on you lurk,

Good to you, you’ve been my lover, almost a wife,

But in your grips I am no longer I have chosen life,

So its to the job of DIY, and patching up a broken past,

I never thought it would be easy to let you go, but you are gone at last,

I see my future burning bright, like a burning star,

And I going to go and find it with the speed of a racing car.