Hello,

I managed another 3 hours last night from 11.30-2.30, feeling really reflective this morning. I guess this is the time where I am starting to feel a little better and have to make choices and plans that will effect the rest of my life. It's a race to earn enough wages to pay 3 months mortgage. Perhaps look at some cheap transport or a train/bus pass. Need to find clothes, only have a couple of sets at the mo. I have been telling myself that doors open once a person has recovery under their belt for a time. However time is a luxury I don't have, I can do it though, need to be more positive. As I sit here typing this I hear a torrent of water coming through the kitchen ceiling, reaaaaally, that just about says it all. I really must make an effort to be more upbeat. I'm sure the few loyal readers I have are getting fed up of all the doom and gloom. I have just been real but I need to bring myself up and sort out some stuff in my life. Major responsibility in 4-5 weeks time, sole care of my daughter through the week. She is very independent but I am still the adult and need to provide whatever she needs. That being said we do have some good support and safety plans in place should the worst happen. I'm not going into this without ensuring she is safe and cared for no matter what. Being her main carer again will be very self affirming for me, build some self esteem and confidence. Real confidence that is not pretend. So much to do must use the smart approach thinking about everything at once tends to shut me down. Small steps and all that.

Much love to all.

Ciao for now