Hello,

Well sleep is an elusive friend, my legs are cramping beyond anything I have exerienced before. The nurse here game me some quinine but sadly that hasn't helped. I couldn't sit or lay in one position for more than 10 minutes at a time before having to move from the cramps and the pain. I have 48 hours till I go home. I really hope this breaks before then. I'm in a safe environment here with lots of support. Out there in the big bad world, I'll be under my own reconnaissance. Although I will have support from family to a degree and regular groups, I still fear the deep, dark, lonely and painful nights. These are full off dicomfort and desperation, I found myself walking the halls, trying to read, massaging my legs. All to no avail. I have to be strong, I am commited to my recovery, its just old anxieties imposing themselves on me. I find myself feeling a little better having blogged about the dramas. It is quite therapeutic putting it down in words. I must remeber these miseries when having any using thought. I must remember to tell myself "Bullshit" when the "I can have just one" Syndrome rears it's ugly, insipid head. Well please send me some positive vibes over the next few days.

Ciao for now.